Confessions of a Paranoid IT Director

BeyondTrust, April 6th, 2011

Hi, my name is Betty, I’m an IT Director at a large utility company and it’s been 1 week since my VP of Software Development complained that security was locked down too tight to get anything done. (All together now) HI BETTY!

I know this is a support group for IT Directors suffering from governance, risk and compliance issues, but candidly I don’t acknowledge that I, or my organization, has a problem.  I’ve locked down every network, server, desktop, cloud and virtual environment so tightly that it takes a call to the help desk anytime someone needs admin rights to do anything.  Sure, our help desk costs skyrocketed, but this way I have complete control over who does what to our IT systems and can guarantee security to my boss.

The other problem that I have to ignore frequently is the VP of the Software Development organization who is constant complaining that his team can’t get anything done and will be missing their deadlines because of my security policies.  He is now threatening to break into our data center and reprogram all security policies one night, so I am evaluating new physical security measures as well.

I recently saw an ad for Guido the Gorilla who is trained to protect IT assets the old fashioned way…with intimidation and brute force.  Do you think he will be worth the investment or not worth his weight in bananas?